Foolish girl, what have you done?
Years after the incidents that hugely shaped your psyche and your outlook on life, you are still letting them define you.
Whatever mistakes you committed, you are letting them become you. As people become older, things change. They might not be what they seemed to be. They might not be the friends you thought they were. Maybe your school friends aren’t going to attend your wedding and become possessive about you in front of your fiancè. Maybe you won’t have those pretty bridesmaids that you’ve always wished for, at your wedding. Maybe it’s because girls, individuals from your apparent community (hormonally), individuals who need to stick up for each other, were some of the biggest catalysts why you think female friendships are doomed since the beginning. Maybe you won’t be able to post pictures of people on social media and proudly proclaim ’10 years and still going strong.’ Or ‘friendship goals’ . Maybe there won’t be anyone you would stand craning your neck out for, while you get married. Maybe you won’t have a best friend to share the biggest joy of your life. And that’s okay. It’s possible that because of this , you’ll be closer to you family than you were in your teens. Isn’t that a very good thing? Maybe you’ll be standing there with a decent graduate degree, hopefully with a post graduate one too, along with your two families. Isn’t that the dream?
Then, tell me, foolish girl, why do you keep dwelling on the past? Why do you keep pining for people who did not and probably never would, understand your worth? Why do you think that you’re shackled to the invisible chains of your past? Why do you not free yourself ? Why do you not allow yourself to soar in the air and stay where you belong ?
You stayed calm when you felt like breaking down, like nothing would be better than to lie on the ground and bawl your eyes out. That boy you liked , the friends who you wanted to become family, left. Yet, you stayed calm. You stayed calm when the world you knew, stopped existing. You stayed calm when everything you believed in, turned out to be a lie. You stayed calm when you were betrayed by those who were supposed to care and nurture you. You rose above the people calling you names. Akin to a warrior in battle, you fought long and hard , even when it felt like you would lose. You fought with all your might and willpower, because somehow, despite that moment of weakness which you had , giving up didn’t seem like a decent , respectful way to go.
You chose life in that moment of weakness where putting a stopper to it seemed tempting.
And you know what, foolish girl ? I do not have the right to call you foolish anymore.
You are a warrior. You are light. You are brightness. You are positivity. You are courage. You are resilient. You are the sun. Most of all, you’re worthy. Worthy of being loved, worthy of being cherished and worthy of being cared for.
So stop pushing people away, accept that proposal, go bananas. The world is yours to conquer, my dear.